Do you have a burning desire to contact Jeff? No? Hmm….. how about 'barely the desire?' If so, you've come to the right place.

If you're looking to book Jeff for an interview or appearance, or if you'd just like to get the book - we're talking a free media review copy of, 'Where There's Food There's Firefighters' - simply get in touch with Jeff's ever-affable promotions coordinator Emily Shorthouse:

Got a question, comment or something to share? Then why not stretch a line to ‘Axe Jeff’ by firing off an e-mail to him at jeff@jeffthechef.ca

But before you do, you may want to check the IAQ (infrequently asked questions) section in the off chance that your question appears there. If your question pertains to fire hall cooking, then you might just find the answer you're looking for right here as Quinn, The Fire Hall Practical Joker takes your queries.

QUIZ QUINN THE FIRE HALL PRACTICAL JOKER

Dear Quinn the Fire Hall Practical Joker;

Why is saffron so expensive? I mean, it seems like such a rip. All you get is about 3 tiny threads of the stuff for more than twice what the other full spice bottles are worth.

Spice Girl

Spice……Spice……. stay down, stay down ……..shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….,. Keep quiet, its bedtime, you know, time for the guys to sleep and for me to stir. Just wait till you see what's going to happens to Big John. I slid the floor polisher machine under his bed in the dorm. Once he's down for the count I'm going to plug in this extension chord and the floor polisher is gonna go bazzurk. It'll be like having a Tasmanian Devil under there. Big John's going to bolt out of his slumber in a panic all confused thinking that his bed's possessed. Ha, ha, this is beautiful. This is going to be great……..This is going to be SOOO SOOOOOOO great….. Oh, shhh…here he comes………

Have you ever tried making your own pasta from scratch? I've been looking at pasta machines and wondering if the results are worth the effort.

Dee O' Head

Hey Dough Head, come here quick…….. I'm over here in the east locker bay. This is going to be great. I rigged Perry's locker in the west bay. At the bottom of his locker there's a 2 litre bottle of Diet Coke with a Geyser tube screwed onto the neck that I stuffed with Mentos. There's a trigger pin in the Geyser tube that I've attached to the door of his locker with a piece of string. When Jerry opens his locker the pin will pull out, the Mentos will drop into the Diet Coke and it'll be chemistry time! It'll be like Old Faithful , coke will be spraying up at him like you WILL NOT believe! The ad for the Geyser tube said that it'll shoot 30 feet! He's going to get it so good……Ha, ha, ha! ….. But we can't let him see us here or he'll think that something is up, so stay low.

Jay's making his infamous banana cream pie with whipped cream, but he seems to be having problems with the electric mixer. Is there something else here in the kitchen that he can use to whip the cream?

Willy Meringue

Willy…..be quiet you idiot……...Get over here and don't say another word. ……..Look and learn from the master …. See, I hit the breaker that the mixer's plugged into. Watch this ……… It's on, he's making whipped cream……… and it's off……… It's on ………………………..the whipped cream is almost thick enough………….. now it's off…… Ha, ha, ha…… Jay's the perfect dupe, he doesn't suspect a thing………..Hey look, Jay's picking up the mixer, here he goes…………he's staring at the mixing blades wondering what on earth is wrong like he's looking into the barrel of a gun …… and …………………….BAM!!! It's on again ………………..HA, HA HA!!! He's got whipped cream EVERYWHERE including ALL OVER HIS FACE!!!!!............ HA, HA, HA! …. Oh look at him, is he ever mad!!!................ Oh, oh, he heard us giggling……RUN FOR IT!!!! HA, HA, HA, HA!!!!! Oh, ohhhhhh….ohhhhhhhh!!! I can hardly move, I'm in stiches I'm laughing so hard. Ha, ha, ha, ha!!